My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
it's like iHOP with fire
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
