That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
