Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
