nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
