for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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