idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
