drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
