Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
