I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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