Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We have started to decorate penises.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
