the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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