i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
