i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You ruined the universe
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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