pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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