I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
