It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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