I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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