you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
