If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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