idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
