I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
