Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize