Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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