you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
