is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize