I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
