apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
