I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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