I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I didn't shave. On purpose
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
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