I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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