went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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