We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Drunk is a universal language darling
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
