Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
