we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Fuck appropriateness.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
