I should be sponsored by Trojan
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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