just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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