ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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