Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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