he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
