Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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