its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
