i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
