But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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