You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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