Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
