her vagine was all disorganized.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
