Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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