He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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