i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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