Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
