OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
