Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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