She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
