is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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