Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
