Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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