For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize