Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
