All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
