Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
