Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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