When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
