? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
