lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
