dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize