That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
