i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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