I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
