i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize