If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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