It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
