the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
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Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
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Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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