Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
