I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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