Porn is love you can see.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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